At TONE Networks, we’re all about exploring thought-provoking ideas, and we’re excited to reshare this powerful article by our own amazing TONE expert, Richelle Carey. Originally published on Medium, The Happiness Hustle: When Professional Peers Pass You By, dives deep into the challenges many of us face when it feels like our professional peers are moving ahead while we’re stuck in the hustle and unsure of our next steps. Richelle poignantly describes how she navigated this complex terrain and found fulfillment on her own terms. We know you will find it as inspiring as we did!
Scrolling through social media, it’s easy to drown in a sea of other people’s successes. You’d think by the big age of 52, I’d be immune to comparing myself to those shiny, filtered posts, but sometimes, they still make me feel like I’m falling behind. Apparently, the comparison trap doesn’t come with an age limit, especially when you’re watching from the sidelines.
Happy, mostly.
Last year, I was candid in my xoNecole essay when I wrote, “I’m a 51-year-old single mom who lives at home with my parents — and I’m the happiest I’ve been.” That was the truth. Now, a year older, the landscape of my life has evolved — it’s a little more complex. My son and I have moved out of my parent’s guest apartment, and we’ve now settled within walking distance away, still in my beloved hometown of Houston. I remain happy, but it’s complicated.
Anchors Away.
To provide context, I left a lucrative six figure career as an international news anchor in Qatar in 2020. My life then was filled with frequent travel and presenting the news to millions worldwide. “Six figures” might not carry the same weight it once did due to inflation, but the point is I was financially comfortable. I spent years climbing the ranks — from a minimum wage production assistant in a local newsroom to working at CNN Headline News and Al Jazeera. I achieved professional success, city by city, only to make a pivotal decision: I prioritized starting a family over my career. I adopted my son in March 2021 and decided not to return to the world of news anchoring.
Career transition is humbling.
Switching careers hasn’t been as straightforward as I thought it would be. I was pretty confident I’d smoothly transition from being a news anchor to hosting and moderating events worldwide, covering everything from international politics to adoption and single motherhood, with a few TV appearances thrown in. Oh, and I’d produce a docuseries, become a popular podcast host and give a TED Talk. Some of those opportunities have come my way, but my dance card isn’t as full as anticipated. I’ve run into more closed doors than I expected, which has made me take a second look at other possibilities and venture down new paths. There has been a silver lining because I’ve picked up new skills and met amazing people from various fields. However, leaving the only industry I’ve worked in since I was 23 has been challenging, especially at this stage in my life. It sometimes makes me wonder if I made a big mistake. I know I didn’t, but there are times when those doubts sneak in, along with comparing myself to others.
The ‘What if” whisper.
Looking at my professional peers, some close friends, others just people I knew, it’s clear they’re doing incredibly well in the media world where I spent over two decades. They’ve snagged top jobs, gained national acclaim, and made deals I’d once hoped for myself. They’ve earned it, no question — I’ve seen the hard work they’ve put in and the barriers they’ve overcome. Many have also been incredibly generous with their contacts anytime I reach out. I’m genuinely thrilled for them and grateful for them. Yet, there are moments when a quiet “What if?” crosses my mind. What if I had stayed in the industry? But here’s the truth: there’s no certainty I would have matched their success.
Inspiration, not envy.
Comparison is a dangerous game because life isn’t a competition. There’s a crucial distinction between finding inspiration in others’ achievements and allowing those successes to fuel unhealthy jealousy or insecurities. It’s important, even essential, to recognize and be happy about others’ successes. But this should never come at the cost of undervaluing one’s own path. Admiring others, especially those we love, should inspire us, not lead to self-doubt.
Redefine your success.
The truth is, everyone’s journey is unique. As I’ve matured, my definition of “success” has evolved. It’s no longer solely defined by professional triumphs. Yes, I have goals in this new phase of my life, but success now encompasses a greater sense of life balance and feeling fulfilled as a parent and a professional. Who knows, maybe the next chapter holds unexpected success in a different form, one that aligns perfectly with the life I’m building.
What’s meant for me will come my way.